Saying No!

Published on 10 February 2024 at 11:23

The goal in life isn’t to make others happy. The goal is to be happy! There is a huge difference in pleasing others and spreading joy.


Making people happy does not make us happy. Instead we are sacrificing our own happiness to provide a mere moment of satisfaction for others. Even if for that moment we feel a small amount of success…if it goes against your personal beliefs, it isn’t worth the energy. Before making a commitment to doing something "just because" it will make them happy, make sure it won't impact your mental health, physical wellbeing, or emotional state in a negative way. This doesn't go for the things we HAVE to do in our day-to-day life and responsibilities we have. (We'll discuss this at a later date)


Have you ever said yes to something you didn't really want to do just because you didn't want to upset the person who asked? Maybe afterwards you beat yourself up or have some catching up to do because you let something go.

If you feel daily like you've been put through the wringer, there's never enough hours in a day, and you are still going with no end in sight; then you may want to ask yourself when the last time you said no, really was.

Here's what can happen if you never say no:

  • With too many yeses, you're going to overextend yourself. It's inevitable.
  • Your priorities will most likely be neglected. Paperwork stacking up, chores being let go, canceling activities/events etc.
  • The way you value your time decreases or diminishes. When obligations take over every minute of every day, time runs together.
  • Others will stop valuing your time and expect that it will ALWAYS be a yes.

Saying no means saying YES to YOU!

  • Time to finish those neglected tasks.
  • The ability to have more control over your time.
  • The ability to see opportunities you never had time to notice before.
  • Time to enjoy, relax, unwind, and so much more. 

If I've learned anything over the years, I have learned 'self care isn't selfish." Self care is a necessity in our lives. If you are constantly running around trying to please others. Constantly sacrificing your health, mind, and time saying yes to everything that comes your way, you are going to suffer the consequences. Whether through pure exhaustion, draining the joy from your life, or losing who you truly are. If you can live with that, then by all means, make EVERY day YES Day! One day, you may look back and wonder....."how did I miss out on so much?" OR starting today, when someone asks something from/of you, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Do I really need or want to do this?
  2. Do I have time, without hurting my own obligations?
  3. Will this affect my emotional, mental, and physical health negatively or positively?

If you cannot positively answer those questions, you may want to say NO! Will this be hard? Yes, more than likely, at first. In time, it will become easier. Your confidence and self esteem will begin to grow. Before you know it you won't have to think twice about saying NO when you need to. 

Remember, you deserve to live your life. You are free to make choices that benefit you. Your priorities are worthy, and more importantly, your time IS valuable too!

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